You’ve probably spent a lot of time thinking about the birth of your baby. Hopefully, you’ve taken a childbirth education class and even made a list of your birth preferences. But what about postpartum? Have you made a plan for once baby is in your arms and home? Having a game plan for the postpartum period can have a big impact on your family, your body, and your ability to breastfeed for months and even years to come. Your body has just been through a major event-you’ve lost a lot of blood and fluids-and you have an open wound in your uterus (from the placenta) that is about the size of a paper plate. Crazy, right? It’s so important to allow your body the time and space to recover, replenish, and heal.
Most of the midwives I work with encourage their clients to abide by the 5-5-5 rule. This is 5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed, and 5 days around the bed. 5 days in bed should mean that your meals and water are brought to you. You are spending your time lying down, resting, bonding with baby, doing skin to skin, and learning how to breastfeed together. 5 days on the bed should mean you are starting to sit up more. Everything you need should still be brought to you, but you can begin being a little more active while still remaining on the bed. You can also include older kids in this by taking naps, doing puzzles, coloring, or reading together. 5 days around the bed can mean you are making your way to the table for meals and you are working your way to standing or being “up” for longer periods of time.
I know what you are thinking. Yes, you can do it! And yes, you do need to do it. Ask for help. Make a list of people who you feel comfortable having in your home during this early postpartum period. Make a list of chores or ways these people can help. This might include bringing a meal, picking up groceries, doing a load of laundry, changing the sheets on the bed, caring for other children or pets, etc.. Even if you aren’t ready to have anyone over, a neighbor can drop off a meal or some needed supplies. Ask family members who aren’t nearby for a gift card for services like meal delivery, grocery delivery, or even a postpartum doula! People want to help you, and this is the time to accept all the help.
One of the best things you can do is to have a strong foundation with your partner. Have conversations about postpartum expectations including nighttime parenting, parenting roles, and boundaries regarding visitors and family. How do you want each other to be involved in each of these areas? Being on the same page before baby is home can be so helpful. Make time for each other. Put each other first. Give each other grace. Talk about what you need and how you feel.
The postpartum period can be tough. You have a new little person to care for, you are healing, lacking sleep, and your life has changed. Being prepared for this season can set you up for any additional challenges that come your way. You, your partner, and your baby will thank you for anything you can do now to make things easier after baby is born.
