“What are you doing for yourself?” A friend recently asked me this question when I was feeling like the weight of motherhood was swallowing me whole. For me, I love being able to stay home and invest in my children…but it can also feel like my self worth is focused around laundry, making and cleaning up food several times a day, and endless behavior corrections. Any other mamas feel me?
One thing we always talk about in our postpartum class is about the importance of taking care of yourself. I stress to my families that mom has to put her needs first, yet I wasn’t doing it. The question of “what are you doing for yourself” struck a cord with me. Not only was I not doing anything for myself, but I didn’t know WHAT I need to to do for myself.
I didn’t know where to start. I thought about what brings me joy, and what makes my cup feel full. A few things came to mind quickly-time with my girlfriends and dancing. Both required intention, planning, and being okay with leaving my kids. Chris and I looked at our schedule and found a way for me to start dancing again. I started really small, one class a month that I could drop in on and I made an effort to plan a play date at least once a week with a friend. Yes, these things added to our schedule and even to the business of life, but overall it allowed me to do something that I needed. Another really practical thing I’ve been doing is sitting down to eat. It sounds so silly, but I was often eating while making food for my own children. Sitting down to enjoy a meal with my kids and asking them to wait until I am done before they ask for anything else has felt like a major self care victory. You guys, taking care of yourself can be really small, like sitting your booty down to enjoy your own lunch!
As I have grown as a mother, I can see the importance of taking better care of myself, even though I still struggle with it. I don’t always choose “self care” over other things, and sometimes when I do I feel guilty about it. Motherhood is so complex. But at the end of the day, I have to take care of myself so I can take care of your family. And no one else can choose that but me.